Show Don't Tell

Far away, in a peaceful forest, filled with a calm, peaceful feeling and full of greenery, there situated a warm and lovely town. On the outskirts of town people were hardworking in the heat on the farm in the late afternoon and in the centre of the town a statue of a man stood tall and proud. His facial features were very distinct, his eyes were kind and filled with light and his stance was brave and of someone with justice, a hero, Any women would blush at the sight of his body build. Then, the sky turned grey, peasants hurried to hide their valuables and take in their children, their faces dulled and animal cries could be heard all over town. Silence washed over town as a gruesome figure wearing a cloak emerged from amongst the mist. People hung their head low as the figure slowly began to move and it came to a stop. A ball rolled over and stopped at its feet, a little girl chasing after the ball stops just a foot away not daring to come any closer. The figure bends down and takes the ball in hand and hands the ball back with a grin. The girl quickly takes the ball, turns and runs away, before the child reached her mum she gave a loud scream as millions of spiders dropped from her hands to floor and crawled all over her arms. He laughed out loud and demanded for materials and food with no intention of paying. Sounds of a galloping horse neared and people's faces lit up with hope, ' No fear for I am here, the Knight of Knights, the most talented. I shall be the one to ward off this evil thing. You over there, get that child away from me, my horse will not have spiders near him and you, get out of here, the king has sent me to rid of you and as the best Knight you shall be gone by my great skills.'..... To be continued


- The hero was strong and handsome. He was admired by the townspeople. He was brave and wished to help those in need.
- The wizard was ugly and evil. The people of the town were terrified of him. He enjoyed threatening them, especially the children. He was cruel and greedy.
- The Knight was arrogant and greedy. He did not want to help others. He only wanted to be viewed as the most handsome and talented warrior in the land.
- The peasants were kind and helpful. They were hard working and honest people. They were scared to drawing the attention of the wizard.

Using your senses to write

Situation to rewrite: They were walking down the street in the city Sense: Sight

Lights gleaming bright into your eyes, cars, traffic just rushing past. Large crowds rushing in and out of stores and across pedestrian crossings. Night has turned to day. Large banners up high above your head like you've shrunk ever so smaller to the world. Like an ant standing next to a human, you stare up with bright glistening eyes and forward to the adventure that awaits in the sparkling lights.

Situation to rewrite: She cuddles up to her teddy bear Sense: Touch/feel

Squeezing it tight and lying crouched under the blankets with a teddy bear. Hands running through its soft fur, rubbing round and round the ears with your thumb, that feeling like silk clothing you can never get sick of. Coming to the eyes, smooth hard plastic and a roughly furred, hard nose then tracing across the stitches of the mouth. Patting the head and feel the fur in between the fingers. Then hugging it tightly you feel it on your cheek, soft fur better than your pillow, you fall asleep.

Situation to rewrite: It was a dark and stormy night Sense: Hear

Silence feels the room as you lie in bed, on sound far in the distance you can barley make out then a soft rumble up in the sky. Wind is picking up, trees are rustling and banging against the window as the leaves skid quickly across the pane making a short light squeak. Then, a large roar moves overhead and you feel yourself shake with the ground below you. Another loud roar in anger and a thunder clapping through the sky, clearly there was a war going on up there.